The heart of a mentor

The heart of a mentor

I’ve started mentoring since I was around 17 years. Yes, you can be that young and even younger to be investing in other women. I had a passion for helping girls grow in their journey getting to know Jesus more. I would counsel, encourage, pray and read the bible with them and I enjoyed it. I still do! And I surely wasn’t a mature Christian. So that means I made many mistakes. For instance, I felt responsible for the choices they made. So sometimes that would result in telling them what to do and how. And if they didn’t, I would get mad or offended. I stand amazed how God still used me in their lives while I had still so many character flaws. But I believe He knew my heart for those women.

As I reflect, my passion has not changed. I still have a heart to help women grow in their journey of getting to know Christ. But I have learned that I am not responsible for their choices. They are! Nowadays I don’t get mad or offended, but I will be praying alongside, sometimes with tears asking God to show them His will.

I believe the heart of a mentor is very essential. The bible says that out of the heart are the issues of life. Out of what heart do I give to the women around me? Is it expected because I am leader in my church? Does it tribute to my identity or is it for the glory of God? Have I dealt with painful issues out of my background or do I still go through the process? Of course, we all still have things that we go through (we are all work in progress), but it shouldn’t be that we are still having deep emotional problems. In mentoring women, you face a lot of emotional problems and you need to be able to cope with that, without projecting your own pain.

Honestly, I didn’t think about those questions when I started with mentoring women. And I still have to check up, regularly. It is by the grace of God that He used me years ago and it still is. Maybe by reading the questions you doubt if you are suitable to mentor women. The intention is not to have you doubting, but reflecting. And if needed, pray and bring it before God, so that He can work in your heart. Do you have a heart for women? Do you love to see them grow in getting to know Christ? Do you love to spend time with them and invest in them? And really, it is so much needed to invest in women, to walk along side of them and help them become a Godly woman. When we mentor women, we don’t have to be perfect or saved for years. I don’t find that criteria in God’s word.

But we do need to be examples. In Titus 2:4 the bible says ……that older women, (I am know 43….so guess I’m older now) urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

In mentoring women, you’re working with their heart. That’s why it’s essential that our heart is in check and constantly being molded by the Holy spirit. And that we pray for our disciple and never lose out of sight that the goal of mentorship is getting to know Christ and His will.

With much love

Naomi Appelhof